Are you with the right partner???

ARE YOU WITH THE RIGHT PARTNER..???


During a seminar, a woman asked," How do I know if I am with the right person?"

The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, "It depends. Is that your partner?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind
replied the author.

Here's the answer.

Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you
fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls,
want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet."Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.

Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, "Am I with the right person?" And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you
may begin to desire that experience with someone
else. This is when relationships breakdown.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found.

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.

Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later.

Because (listen carefully to this):

The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the Person you found.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know
WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.

Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws Of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.

Love is therefore a "decision". Not just a feeling.

Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO....!!! 

Virgo Men

Am back! :) It's been a while since I've logged on and shared something. The past 2 years been crazy... alot of learning and discovering.

Anyway, after my post on Scorpio Men, I received quite a bit of comments and most of them think the way I do :)

So' I've decided to post up another one this time, by Linda Goodman as well (she's a star!), but on Virgo Men.

The VIRGO Man

"Why, if a fish came to me, and told me he was going on a journey, I should say, 'With what porpoise?' " "Don't you mean 'purpose'?" said Alice. "I mean what I say," the Mock Turtle replied in an offended tone.

We may as well get this out into the open right away. Don't pin your hopes on a Virgo man if your heart is hungry for romantic dreams and fairy tales, or you'll find yourself on a starvation diet. A love affair with a Virgo will dump a warm sentimentalist on the cold ground with a hard thud, and it can hurt.

This man lives almost entirely on a practical, material level, and he has little use for the abstractions of storybook romance. Of course, the whole problem may be academic anyway, since it will take no little effort to bring him any­where near the threshold of a man-woman relationship in the first place. He's not the type to serenade you beneath your boudoir window. You'll have a long, lonely wait on your moonlit balcony until he starts climbing the rose trellis (or the fire escape, if you live in a walk-up).

Actually, Virgos are deeply involved with love from earliest childhood, but not the Romeo-Juliet kind of love. His chief way of expressing the word is concerned with unselfish devotion to family, friends and those weaker or more disorganized than himself. He was born with an instinctive love of work, love of duty and discipline and devotion to the helpless. Even the unevolved Virgo, ,who doesn't quite reach such heights, feels slightly guilty that he isn't living up to a selfless ideal in some way.

The kind of love which displays itself in dramatic emo­tions, sentimental promises, tearful declarations and mushy affection, not only leaves a Virgo man cold, it can frighten him into catching the nearest bus or train out of town. (Planes are too fast and too expensive for him, unless he's really desperate.) But he can be melted if the temperature is just right, even though he seems to be made of a com­bination of steel and ice. There are definitely ways to the Virgo heart. Secret ways. Aggressive pursuit is not one of them. Neither is coquetry nor sexuality, as many a flirta­tious vamp and slinky siren has learned, to her surprise and disappointment.

Virgos seek quality rather than quantity in romance. Since quality is at pretty much of a premium in any cate­gory, they have few real love affairs, and the few they do have are destined to be unlucky or sad in some way, more often than not. Virgo's reaction to such a disappointment is normally to bury himself in the hardest work he can find, stay away from society in general, and be twice as cautious at the next opportunity. You can see that you'll have to use considerable strategy and patience. The basic Virginian instinct is chastity, and he's turned from it only for a good cause or for a mighty good woman. Many Virgos-though admittedly not all-can live with celibacy far more easily than any other Sun sign, just as they put up with rules of discipline they don't understand, because obedience to fate without struggling comes naturally to them. If fate decrees a single life, Virgo is prepared to accept it without excess regret or emotional trauma, so there are lots of Virgo bachelors around-but still, in their quiet way, they can manage some very poetic, if fragile, love affairs.

Although he's never obvious, Virgo can be a master of the art of subtle seduction. A couple of generations of women who have trembled inside when a certain French­man smiles his shy, gentle smile can tell you all about it. Maurice Chevalier didn't become a legend because he has a singing voice like Caruso, you know. He may not be of my generation, but I too get butterflies in the heart region when I see or hear him.

The Virgo man is a blend of sharp intellect and solid earth. He can be detached enough to break lots of hearts with a cool kind of flirting, but his critical analytical sense and his fastidious discrimination seldom allow these fre­quent excursions to leave the platonic arena. It has to burn with a white heat to produce real passion in a Virgo. His modesty and selectivity alone prevent undue promiscuity. Of course, there may be an occasional fall into an earthy, physical experience, but such indiscretions are the exception, rather than the rule. The rule is aloof interest. I know pne Virgo man who accepted a part in one of those really raw "for adults only" films, but he did it strictly for the cash-he was flat broke at the time-and he still blushes when anyone mentions it. Naturally, a man is a man, and not all Virgo: remain technical virgins, but they do always emain puu in outlool-. There's invariably something clean ind chaste about Virgo love, which is never allowed to become soiled--cven in the midst of passion- -no matter vhat unfortunate events may give the outward appearance pf casualties^.

He'll take his own precious time about finding a love object, because he's as critical and painstaking in the selec­tion of a woman as he is in his eating, grooming, health [and work habits. Don't try to fool him or lie to him. Your jvirgo lover holds no illusions. He wants a decent, honest (and genuine relationship. He knows very well how small |his chances are of finding it, but it's useless to expect him |to accept anything less. If circumstances ever do involve |him in a sordid affair, you can be certain he won't remain |in its clutches for long.

| He is a difficult man to stir emotionally. He can go for |a long time without feeling any burning need for a perma-Inent mate. It's enough to make you cry if you've set your | cap for him. You'll wonder if he's made of marble or if he |was born without a heart. No, he isn't made of marble |and yes, he does have a heart. Be patient. To her who (waits comes eventual success.

| Now and then a curious, frustrated Virgo may try a | fling at deliberate promiscuous behavior, simply to see if |he's lacking in masculinity. He's not, of course, and as | soon as he discovers it, he seeks no more artificial expe-|riences to prove himself. No cool, clear and collected Virgo can be immune to the call of human nature fotever, but once he does succumb, hell be shy about admitting it. When he's on the threshold of submission, he'll cover his true feelings with elaborate casualness. There is more than a spark of subdued, but extremely refined acting talent in Virgo. He will pretend to be disinterested as cleverly as he pretends to be ill when he's not enjoying himself at a party. Don't expect him to respond with any great display of ecstatic surrender even after he's committed, and while he's still deciding if you're really the one for whom he'll forsake his single state, he'll play it mighty cool, indeed.

Once he's decided it's for real, however, he'll declare himself with touching simplicity. His love will burn with a steady flame, never fluctuating like the love of other Sun signs, and it will give warmth over the years with wonderful dependability. Is that so bad? The one quality of fairy tale romance about Virgo is that, if he's genuinely in love, he will wait for years to claim his true mate, or travel over a thousand mountains to bring her home to his hearth. He's capable of enormous sacrifice in the pursuit of that one dainty foot he's discovered will fit the glass slipper. There's no denying that the flame is strong, once it's been kindled. It's almost impossible to extinguish it. You'll be as eternally adored as Cinderella herself. The trick, I suppose, is in the •original kindling. It's a rare foot that fits his glass slipper. Virgo is enormously particular.

After you've caught him, hell seldom if ever invite your jealousy, and he'll be determined to overcome any rough spots caused by financial problems, relatives or outside interference. He'll show incredible strength through emo­tional and material hardships, as long as you remain by his side. You couldn't ask for a more tender, gentle companion when your heart is broken for any reason by a cruel world or when you're physically ill. He won't shower you with money, but you'll be well supplied with necessities, and he will shower you with consideration.

A Virgo man is invariably kindly and thoughtful about all those little things which matter to women. He has a crystal clear memory and probably won't forget special dates, though he may be a bit mystified as to why you think they are so important. He won't be wildly, passionately jealous, yet Virgo males are possessive in the extreme. This sounds like a fine line to draw, but it's important. Even though he doesn't throw emotional scenes of jealousy over the attentions other men pay you, his deeply rooted pos-sessiveness should warn you that a little freedom goes a long way. The wife of a Virgo who wanders too far away from the home fires too often may find herself without a husband to return to. Virgos are utterly loyal and they dislike destroying family ties intensely, but when their sense of decency has been finally outraged they won't hesi­tate to make a cold, clean break in the divorce court. No messy, complicated trial separations for them. When it's over, it's over. Goodbye and good luck. Even the Virgo's sharp, unusually excellent memory won't cause him to cry sentimental tears over the past, simply because he's able to discipline his memory as firmly as he does his emotions. Self-discipline is part of his very nature. The Virgo man with his mind made up moves on-and having moved on, all your tears and apologies are useless in getting him to change his mind. He'll never fall victim to the illusion that gluing together the broken pieces will recreate perfection in what has once been seriously flawed.

If your heart is set on a Virgo man, you'd better brush up your thinking cap and wear it when he's around. Virgos hate ignorance, stupidity and sloppy thinking almost as much as they hate dirt and vulgarity, and that's a lot. The girl who snares the Virgo heart had better be smartly dressed with a sizable brain under her neat hair style-and you'll notice I said neat hair style. Virgos look for women who are clean in body and mind, and who dress well, but not in flashy extremes of fashion.

You won't have to be Julia Child, but for goodness sakes, don't ever be naive enough to think a Virgo husband will let you feed him out of cans. A pleasure-seeking, selfish, mentally lazy woman will never make it with a Virgo male, even if she's fairly oozing with sex appeal. This is the very last man in the world you can expect to find running off with a topless Go-Go girl, though he might loan her his sweater if she's chilly. When it comes right down to the nitty gritty, he's looking for a wife-not a mistress in any sense of the word.

Virgo men have no strong yearning for fatherhood, as a rule. Their particular kind of ego doesn't seem to require children for emotional fulfillment, and Virgos tend to have small families. Yet, once a child or children have been born, the Virgo is an extremely conscientious parent, and will never take his responsibilities lightly. Hell spend many hours teaching his youngsters skills and transmitting hia own high standards of conduct. He'll be cheerfully willing to help with homework and will probably make no end of sacrifices for hobbies, music lessons, camp and especially college. A Virgo father will place great emphasis on intel­lect and train his children rigidly in matters of ethics, courtesy and good citizenship. Even the divorced Virgo will eventually see to it somehow that his offspring are well ared for, wherever they may be, and that they get an edu-ation. Children of Virgo fathers usually grow up with both love and respect for books and learning. You'll seldom find a Virgo""parent spoiling a child, and there will always be plenty of necessary discipline. All this is fine, but there may be a need for more physical expressions of love be­tween a Virgo father and his youngsters, since affection is not something that comes naturally to him. Unless a serious effort is made in this area from babyhood on, there's more than a small chance that he'll one day discover an insur­mountable barrier has grown between him and the offspring he loves so deeply. There's also a tendency to be too criti­cal, to expect too much too soon and be too strict.

A Virgo will expect you to fuss a bit over his health, but hell wait on you when you're sick, too, and allow you to be a regular Camille. He may have his cranky and moody spells now and then, perhaps even frequently. But one thing is sure. If you leave him alone, he won't go out of his way to start an argument with you. Just let him get over his grumpiness and he'll surprise you with tenderness to make up for it. Let him worry. It's good for him, sort of a Virgo mental exercise. But when you see it's affecting his physical state, snap him out of it by suggesting something interesting or different to do. It isn't hard to catch the mental attention of a Virgo, though it may be hard to keep it.

Now that you know what you're in for, if you're still in love with that Virgo man, you can look forward io a pretty contented future. You'll have a husband who's alert and well-informed, who won't expect you to wait on him hand and foot or expect you to run around looking sexy all the time with a dab of perfume behind each ear and a rose in your teeth. (Although he may expect you to go around with a cake of soap in each hand.)

Hell be reliable and pleasant, if you're tactful about his faults. He won't have many of them anyway-unless you call the way he runs his finger across the furniture every night, looking for dust, a fault. Little habits like that. No matter what he does, try not to nag him. Remember, he's not constituted to be able to take the critical analysis he applies to others. Get used to his habit of criticizing you, and laugh it off with the realization that he can't help being such a sensitive hairsplitter. Once that resentment is out of the way, you can relax, and really enjoy your bright, loyal Virgo. He's not an angel. There are no wings sprouting on his shoulders. But lots of wives will be jealous of you.

After all, how many women are married to a hard­working, handsome man who's neat and tidy around the house, who remembers anniversaries and performs miracles with the checkbook? How many wives have a smart hus­band who dresses well, seldom goes out with the boys or makes passes at other women, and is usually gentle and considerate? Look closely again. Is that just the reflection of the street lights around his head, or could it be . . . ? No, it couldn't possibly be a halo. Not after the way he snapped at you when you spilled the buttered popcorn in his lap at the theater tonight. Of course not. That cranky character? Still, there is a kind of an aura. And when he smiles-and you can see yourself in his clear eyes-well, he'll do until someone with real wings comes along.

~Linda Goodman~