Regrets...

What are regrets? Was it something we didn't do? Was it something we did and hope we did not? Was it something said or not said? I believe it is more of an injustice we did to ourselves. We can't say I should have, could have or would have… because its in the past. Yet, that lingering feeling of twisting uneasiness deep in our hearts, that's a reminder to us… daily or most of the time. Should we let it stay or let it go?

I'd say both depending on the situation. Take my life as an example, my divorce will forever be something that will both stay and go. How? The good times is something I want to keep forever, while the bitterness will be something I want to let go. Why? Because it will make me feel better, make understand things better, and allows me to live happily after it all. Besides, I've had it for almost 10 years, it's about time for me to let go of the dead horse, instead of dragging it around and wherever I go. Because if I do, I am not living and that's an injustice, which will become a regret someday.

I get questions like, If you could do it all over again, what would you do differently? or Do you think you could love again? or Did you regret getting married? My answers are - No, I won't do it differently because I was a good wife, Yes, I believe I could but I can't promise it will be the same as before, and No, getting married will never be a regret to me because it was not all bad, there were good times. I might not want to get married again, but we never know, when we meet someone, and it feels right, we'll just get back into it. If not, it's not the end of the world. Why? Because I've tried it, I both liked and disliked it in some ways, lessons were learnt, and all these happened while I'm still young. I still have a long way to go, more to live, more to do, more experiences to come, and I get to restart.

I once thought restarting will be tough and I might not be able to do it. But I was so wrong (another injustice to myself), who gets a second chance in life? I get to restart all over again, do it my way this time, and not repeat the same mistakes, which brought me down. It was also the bravest thing I've ever done to myself by getting out of something that is no longer working for me, instead if staying and hoping that things will change for the better. If it could get to such a bad extent, it will take a while to get better and even longer for the emotional healing. I'm not gonna even attempt for the millionth time, because I have tried enough, its not my cup of tea :) All I can say is, it takes a lot of courage to walk out of something that has been a comfort zone for you. But another set of rainbows and sunshines when you're out. Besides we are not the only living planet in the universe. Why think our current situation is the best we could have?

Let's just be fair to ourselves and also our partners. Give yourself and others a chance to restart and be happier. We don't know what else is better out there awaiting us. Don't deprive yourself of a second chance when your current state is not working for you. It's not a grim and bad as you think. Beginning is always the toughest, but in the end, you only have yourself to thank (it's always darkest before the dawn). A leap of faith is what we all are afraid of…