According to Sternberg, the three basic components of love are commitment, passion, and intimacy. Meaning, with the presence or absence of these three components, comes the different types of love relationships.
Commitment - engagement or involvement
Passion - fondness or desire
Intimacy - close, familiar, or affectionate
- - C - P - I = Non-Love
- - C - P + I = Liking
- - C + P - I = Infatuation
- + C - P - I = Empty Love
- - C + P + I = Romantic Love
- + C + P - I = Fatuous Love
- + C - P + I = Companionate Love
- + C + P + I = Consummate Love
In my opinion, these are too clear cut and could not be applied especially to relationships that have been many years. After a while these components will not be so prominent as things will plateau or go back to normal. Thus, this does not mean that the relationship is not complete or imperfect. Besides, there is NO perfect relationship ;) Only through give-and-take and tolerance from both parties, only there will be lasting or at least an average relationship.
I feel that one should not bank in too much in relationships. Do not let it decide your happiness, completeness or wholeness, or even as being normal or abnormal. Rules are set by us humans, so we could also change it according to our liking and comfort. When there is no hard and fast rules or social pressure, we tend to make better and clearer choices based on what we want to be and not what others want us to be. Live for yourself if u have not already...
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